For my blue eyes, Spike

I didn’t feel like myself all this while,

You didn’t feel like you too,

For maybe we knew storm clouds were gathering, A darkness grew in your tummy - 

and yet you soldiered on, 

Waiting for so many things. 

You worried over the little one, 

to make sure you delivered him safely, 

for you knew he is afraid of being alone.

You waited to see us too and the home we were making, 

we could not sleep – anticipating 

Your flight, moments away from landing.

I had ants in my pants with love overflowing

for all my boys would be together again, 

Only, you didn’t tell me you weren’t staying. 

Just popping by, mummy –

One last time –

for a cuddle and a kiss goodbye.

I saw you, and my heart broke, 

It hurt picking out your favourite things,

A part of me already knew you wouldn’t be there for long.

Blue eyes, I knew you were mine,

when I called to get you almost 12 years ago, 

only one fugly little puppy stayed behind.

You said goodbye to us every morning,

watching from the balcony as we went our different ways 

And in the evening, you heard the engine long before the gate.

You would gift me a pigeon every day,

And stare, confused as I run screaming away, 

A token of the love, loyalty and devotion you gave.

You were born with a special personality; 

the watcher, hunter, follower, 

always protective, alert, and aware…

Our morning coffee and a walk around the property,

Evenings spent in silence, watching the stars on the water

you lay quietly, happy to just be there.

My eyes are filled with tears, rolling down my face, 

Not ready to bid you farewell,

Our souls connected forever.

My heart weighs heavy for my blue eyes, 

I see you hunting pigeons in the sky…

I see you everywhere, and with every move I make

I see you on the kitchen rug, while I cook and bake, 

I see you leaning over the bath to check in on me,

I see you snuggled by the fire, while I binge on Netflix. 

I can’t let you go just yet, Spike… 

I made everything just the way we liked

A big garden, a braai, and a swing

Today, I am selfish, as I am mourning

Yesterday, I was brave

I could not bear that you carry the pain.

Sleep tight, my blue eyes, while I dream

one more cuddle, one more coffee, one more story 

Listen for my morning stories, and send your thoughts on the cool breeze.

I will miss you, my best friend.