I Took a Breath

I stopped and took a breath; I stopped to breathe.

I took a breath to see my truths;

I took a breath to not become

The hamsters on the wheel all around me.

I took a breath as fires are being set alight;

I took a breath because I didn’t know how

To let you in without losing a bit of me.

You see, my love, I am not of the middle;

I am on the far sides of in and out.

So, in not knowing how to let you in

Without losing me, I took a breath.

When one is one for so long,

One does not know how to be two.

I was not completely me; I was dizzy,

I was in doubt; I was on fire;

I wanted to shout it out:

“He is here, he is here, my person;

The nameless that lived in my heart

As hope, faith, and trust for so many hours.”

The more I thought of me as a two,

The more excited and scared I became.

I only trusted me,

Because only I know what is best for me;

Only I will never let me down;

Only I know how to love me;

Only I can spoil me;

Only I make time for me;

Only I am only me.

In the breath, you appeared and set my world spinning.

I find myself in highs and lows with you;

I find you controlling my breath

More than I can find the air to breathe,

You telling me I am spinning

And wondering if I should bring myself back

To a closed me when this heart is opened.